Getting your head around secondary infertility with Catherine Cousins
In this deeply emotional episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Cousins, author of Just One Child, to talk honestly about secondary infertility, failed IVF cycles, mental health, grief, and what it means to come to terms with building a family with one child when that was not the plan.
This conversation was not an easy one to prepare for or to record. Catherine shares her story with such openness, including her experience of a cancer diagnosis within her family, IVF after having a child naturally, a mental health breakdown following a failed cycle, and the long road towards acceptance.
If you are currently in treatment, living with secondary infertility, or facing decisions about stopping treatment, this episode may resonate deeply. We talk about grief that is often unseen, the isolation that comes with this experience, and why it is so rarely spoken about.
If this is not the right time for you to listen, please come back when you feel ready.
What we discuss in this episode:
- What secondary infertility can look like when you already have a child
- How a cancer diagnosis changed Catherine’s fertility journey overnight
- IVF after having a child naturally and the emotional complexity that brings
- The mental health impact of failed cycles and untreated grief
- Why many people do not feel able to talk about secondary infertility
- Shame, isolation, and feeling undeserving of support because you have a child
- How grief can exist for the family you imagined but could not have
- The strain fertility treatment can place on relationships
- Deciding when to stop treatment and how hard that decision can be
- Marking the end of treatment and finding closure in your own way
- Parenting while grieving and the guilt that can come with it
- Navigating comments, questions, and assumptions from others
- Reframing the narrative around being a family with one child
- Finding acceptance without pretending it does not still hurt
About Catherine and her book
Catherine Cousins is the author of Just One Child, a powerful and compassionate book about secondary infertility, loss, and redefining family when further treatment is not possible or no longer feels right.
Her book explores the emotional, social, and psychological impact of coming to terms with having one child when you hoped for more, and gives voice to an experience that is often overlooked.
You can find Catherine and her work here:
A gentle note
This episode includes discussion of failed IVF cycles, mental health breakdowns, grief, and decisions to stop treatment. Please take care of yourself while listening.
There is no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to secondary infertility. Your experience is valid.
Support from our sponsors
Access Fertility
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Find out more at: https://www.accessfertility.com/thefp
One Day Tests
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Let’s keep the conversation going
- Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
- Email your thoughts or guest ideas: natalie@thefertilitypodcast.com
- Learn more about support and advocacy at Fertility Action
- Subscribe on your podcast app so you never miss an episode
- Share this episode with someone who may feel seen by this conversation
Thank you for listening and for trusting this space with such tender parts of your story. Secondary infertility can feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone.
Until next time.
