Episode 260

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Published on:

13th Apr 2020

How it feels to not be able to give your child a sibling

Meet Janet Murray. Janet is a digital content expert, author, and fellow podcaster. Earlier in the year Janet shared an article about secondary infertility and we wanted to talk to her about this and her experiences of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy.

Fertility Struggle

Janet struggled with infertility and after routine tests, she was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis. Treatment ensued and shortly after her diagnosis, Janet fell pregnant. Sadly this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and Janet, who is normally a very pragmatic person, felt completely floored. However, she did fall pregnant again but this pregnancy was thwarted by anxiety and at 29 weeks Janet went into early labor. Luckily after time in neonatal intensive care, Janet was able to bring home her daughter Katie. Very soon after, Janet was surprised to find she was pregnant again. Unfortunately, this pregnancy ended in an ectopic pregnancy and Janet was told that she would be unlikely to conceive again.

The loneliness of the first 12 weeks

Janet shares her thoughts on how difficult it is to reach out for support for after an early miscarriage, as it’s almost taboo to talk about your pregnancy until after the 12-week point.

I have an excuse to talk

Secondary infertility is frequently dismissed by society. Over the last 5 years, Janet has run five London Marathons to raise money for The Miscarriage Association and the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust and she feels this has given her an excuse to talk about miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy in a public space.

"At least you have one

Janet felt that friends didn’t understand her desire to have another child and a sibling for her daughter. Because she was career-focused people always assumed that Janet only wanted to have one child out of choice. In her article (above) Janet talks about the agony of not being able to have a sibling for Katie.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Janet Murray 

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Miscarriage Association

Ectopic Pregnancy Trust 

Bliss 

Tommy’s 

The Fertility Podcast 

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Kate Davies 

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About the Podcast

The Fertility Podcast
The Fertility Podcast|Expert interviews|Women and Men sharing #TTC stories|Wellbeing support
If you’ve found your route to parenthood hasn’t been straightforward, The Fertility Podcast is for you. From how to optimise your fertility to getting pregnant naturally, navigating IVF, understanding donor conception or surrogacy to how to prepare for a life without children. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Created by Natalie Silverman, a former fertility patient in 2014, I then joined forces with Kate Davies, an independent fertility nurse consultant as we spoke to a range of experts and people just like you. Today in 2023, Kate is now hosting the podcast without Natalie ( who you can find hosting The F Word at Work ) here the podcast is going back to its routes to share more patient stories as we’re here to hold your hand, on your route to parenthood including how it impacts you at work.

PLEASE NOTE: The Fertility Podcast has an archive of its 300 episodes on new podcast feeds called: Getting Pregnancy Ready, Infertility Support, Male Fertility, Alternative Routes to Parenthood, and Pregnancy Loss.
Just have a look in your podcast search and be sure to subscribe.

About your host

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Natalie Silverman