How it feels to not be able to give your child a sibling
Meet Janet Murray. Janet is a digital content expert, author, and fellow podcaster. Earlier in the year Janet shared an article about secondary infertility and we wanted to talk to her about this and her experiences of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy.
Fertility Struggle
Janet struggled with infertility and after routine tests, she was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis. Treatment ensued and shortly after her diagnosis, Janet fell pregnant. Sadly this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and Janet, who is normally a very pragmatic person, felt completely floored. However, she did fall pregnant again but this pregnancy was thwarted by anxiety and at 29 weeks Janet went into early labor. Luckily after time in neonatal intensive care, Janet was able to bring home her daughter Katie. Very soon after, Janet was surprised to find she was pregnant again. Unfortunately, this pregnancy ended in an ectopic pregnancy and Janet was told that she would be unlikely to conceive again.
The loneliness of the first 12 weeks
Janet shares her thoughts on how difficult it is to reach out for support for after an early miscarriage, as it’s almost taboo to talk about your pregnancy until after the 12-week point.
I have an excuse to talk
Secondary infertility is frequently dismissed by society. Over the last 5 years, Janet has run five London Marathons to raise money for The Miscarriage Association and the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust and she feels this has given her an excuse to talk about miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy in a public space.
"At least you have one
Janet felt that friends didn’t understand her desire to have another child and a sibling for her daughter. Because she was career-focused people always assumed that Janet only wanted to have one child out of choice. In her article (above) Janet talks about the agony of not being able to have a sibling for Katie.
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