Parenting after IVF
Today we’re talking all about what happens after fertility – parenting after IVF. What is it like to be pregnant and then parenting after you’ve gone through a fertility journey? Is it different if you’ve not experienced this rollercoaster journey and you’ve managed to conceive naturally? To find out, we’re giving a big welcome to a previous guest and friend of the podcast – Cat Strawbridge otherwise known as @tryingyears.
Cat, after 7 years of trying to conceive and multiple rounds of IVF, finally became a mum to beautiful Wren, who has recently celebrated her 2nd birthday. Cat works tirelessly to break the silence surrounding infertility, has her own podcast The Finally Pregnant Podcast, consults within the fertility industry, host events and to top it all is now (at time of writing) embarking on fertility treatments to try for a sibling for Wren.
We’re delighted to chat to Cat again and wanted to ask her what are the most common fears for women who have conceived following fertility treatments? Cat didn’t hesitate in answering – the anxiety. The anxiety of pregnancy, ‘scanxiety’ and once parenting the fear of being an overbearing and anxious parent.
You may not have heard the term ‘scanxiety’ before but we suspect you’ve felt it. It’s that anxiety you get every time before and during a scan. Whether it be a fertility or pregnancy scan, that fear never leaves you. Cat talked about her pregnancy with Wren and her need to have regular reassurance by having a scan. Particularly as sadly, Cat lost Wren’s twin sister in early pregnancy. Cat talks about how ‘scanxiety’ starts from the moment she’s booked the scan until she’s had the reassurance that everything is OK. We talked about Cat’s experiences of how the scanning professionals dealt with her anxiety, which luckily was generally positive, however we all know that sometimes bad news isn’t delivered in the best way and many professionals seem to lack empathy. A recent guest Amber Isso termed this ‘empathy fatigue’.
Kate recently had the pleasure of listening to a webinar Cat did for ESHRE week on hope and how professionals can help patients maintain hope by treating them respectfully and honestly and acknowledging that it is the patient’s fertility journey. Whilst health professionals are becoming more informed on how to speak to patients, she feels that there is still a long way to go.
Cat then spoke about her decision to try for another baby with her remaining embryo and how this has been a difficult decision to make, especially as this is her last shot. She is feeling overwhelmed, excited and petrified but hopes that this time around she has more knowledge and the resilience to cope better. Kate talked about how the emphasis on a second attempt at IVF after having success is so different. The first time it’s on your having a baby, the second its on having a sibling for your child, so the pressure is totally different.
We also discuss Cat’s feelings on the COVID-19 vaccine and how she has had one but plans to delay the second one for now.
Since recording Cat has shared that her FET didn’t work and has spoken about it on her socials. We send Cat all our love and thank her for talking to us.
Other episodes mentioned:
Katie Eaves who is working to support midwives understand how to talk to pregnant women who have been through infertility
We also spoke in a previous episode with Julianne Boutelab about the fears we have on becoming parents.
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